Never the Twain – Series 5
Episodes
In Whom We Tryst
Simon and Oliver are both smitten by Simon's glamourous new assistant Belinda and are pleasantly surprised when she reveals - separately - that she'll spend a weekend away with them. Both turn up at the tryst at an hotel, unaware that it's a ploy to get them away whilst she and her boyfriend are robbing their shops.
Going, Going, Gone!
The two dealers plan - separately - to spend a night at a country pub and are surprised to meet there, especially as they have to share a bed in the sole guest room. Each is hoping to beat the other in a bid for a grandfather clock at a nearby action but, after Oliver has been locked out for the night in his pyjamas, their bickering means that neither ends up with the clock.
Thicker Than Water
Whilst drinking in the pub with Oliver, Simon reveals that he's adopted, having been abandoned at an orphanage as a baby. Circumstances lead him to believe that his natural parents may be Charlie Crapper, a drunken petty thief, and his wife Lil, who sells papers on the street. He meets with them to break the news but fortunately they know something he does not.
Kung Who?
Simon takes up judo to defend himself against likely muggers and invites Oliver to accompany him to his class at the gym.
Reading Between the Lines
Simon is aghast to learn that oily solicitor Brimley, with whom he was at school, is handling the property next to the antique shops and plans to sell it to a fast food chain in return for an expensive car.
Definitely Not Cricket!
Lady Devereaux offers Simon some sporting memorabilia at knock-down prices provided he captains her staff cricket team against the rival side led by parvenu bookie Bernie Miller.